You’re Worth the Pain of Rejection
Imagine you’re in a waiting room with two other people.
There’s a small ball on the table in this waiting room. One of the persons waiting with you in this waiting room picks up this ball and throws it to the other person. The other person catches the ball and then throws it to you.
You throw the ball back to the first person, who then throws it to the second person. But this time, the second person throws it back to the first person, and now they continue to toss the ball back and forth – excluding you from the game.
How would you feel?
“Two strangers throwing a ball back and forth without me? Who cares?”
Well, studies would suggest that you do.
You see, this waiting room scenario is actually a tried and tested psychological experiment referred to as The Rejection Experiment. And over the dozens and dozens of times this waiting room experiment was recreated, volunteers repeatedly reported “significant emotional pain.”
What’s even more fascinating is that even after the volunteers were told that the two other people in the waiting room were part of the research team – that the whole thing was staged – that the whole thing wasn’t real – the volunteers still said it hurt.
Rejection Hurts
Rejection hurts, doesn’t it?
It hurts when your friends go out for lunch without you.
It hurts when your dream job denies your application.
It hurts when you ask a girl out and she says no.
It hurts when you swipe right, and he swipes left.
Rejection hurts.
In fact, rejection hurts so much we’ll do all sorts of things to avoid it.
We’ll become less outgoing and less outspoken. We’ll say whatever people want us to say. We’ll compromise our convictions for the sake of fitting in.
When the risk of rejection runs high, we’re tempted to run away, aren’t we? Because we know how much rejection hurts.
And Jesus knows, too.
Pride Devolves into Prejudice
It started off like any other Sabbath day at the synagogue in Nazareth. If you were there, you’d see men, women, and children watching intently as one adult male of the congregation rose to preside as the worship leader – leading the assembly through song and prayer.
You’d see him bring forward a wooden box, open it, and remove from it the Torah scroll – a scroll containing the first five books of the Old Testament – the books of Moses.
You’d hear select portions of the Torah read, and then you’d hear a sermon given on that section of Scripture.
Finally, at the close of the service came the haftorah (הפטרה), a reading from one of the prophetic books of the Old Testament.
It was here at the very end of the service that this Sabbath took a turn for the worse.
The worship leader motions to Jesus to read from the scroll of the prophet Isaiah. And now, all eyes are on Jesus as he takes center stage to not only read but expound upon the Word of God.
Jesus unrolls the scroll of Isaiah, and reads from chapter 61, “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free.”
Jesus rolls up the scroll, hands it back to the worship leader, and then says, “Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”
Every eye was fastened on their fellow Nazarene as he taught. For the people of Nazareth, this was a big deal. To them, Jesus of Nazareth wasn’t just the rabbi everyone in Israel was talking about: he was the trending celebrity from their hometown – and now he is teaching them the Word of God!
This had to have been – at least, initially – a proud moment for them. They were amazed at how he spoke with such power and authority.
But then suddenly, their amazement turns into scandal; their pride transforms into prejudice.
“This man is brilliant!” they thought. “Where did he get such wisdom and insight into the Scriptures?”
“Hang on a second. Isn’t he just a carpenter? The son of a carpenter?”
“Isn’t he the son of Mary? The brother of James, Joseph, Jude, and Simon? Aren’t his sisters here with us?”
And they were scandalized by him.
Familiarity Breeds Contempt
It was often said that nothing notable could come from Nazareth – and it seems that even the people of Nazareth believed that.
They had seen the miracles he had performed and couldn’t deny there was something other-worldly about Jesus; and yet, for the citizens of Nazareth who had seen Jesus grow up, it seemed inconceivable such awesomeness could come from such lowly, humble beginnings.
And in a way, they were totally right.
Jesus’ power and authority didn’t come from having Jospeh as a foster-father and Mary as a birth mother:
Jesus power and authority was due to the fact that he is God!
This was no ordinary 30-year-old Nazarene standing before them! This was the very fulfillment of the very section of Isaiah they just heard. They were staring at the One who would bind up the brokenhearted – the One who would proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners.
The long-awaited Savior was standing right there in that synagogue; but to them he was nothing more than just another townie.
Sadly, Israel’s history was littered with similar cases of such spiritual rejection. Jesus says as much when he says that “A prophet is without honor especially in his own town, among his relatives, and in his own home.”
Familiarity certainly can breed contempt – and these locals felt so familiar with Jesus that for him to claim to be anything but the son of a carpenter was contemptable.
Mark spares us the details, but in Luke’s biography of Jesus, we’re told that the people of Nazareth got so angry with Jesus that they drove him out of town and tried to throw him off a cliff.
But that wasn’t the hill Jesus would die on.
Jesus miraculously maneuvered through the murderous mob that day, but he didn’t walk away unhurt: Jesus walked away rejected.
And these weren’t strangers who rejected Jesus: these were church-going people who should have recognized Jesus for who he truly is – but didn’t.
“If They Hated Me, They’ll Hate You…”
Rejection hurts. And chances are, the rejection Jesus experienced is a rejection you – as a follower of Jesus – have already experienced.
21st century America loves the Jesus who lovingly made time for the sexually scandalous – but not so much the Jesus who scandalizes us with his “outdated” views on sexuality, gender, and marriage.
Our colleagues are quick to compliment a Jesus who calls out self-righteous hypocrisy – but quick to condemn a Jesus who would dare say the sin of hatred, in God’s eyes, is tantamount to murder.
Our post-modern world, as one pastor put it, “believes the [only] thing we need salvation from is the idea that we need salvation.” So, it comes as no surprise when we, as Christians, are forced out of friend circles or kicked from our communities for putting stock in a story about the Son of God entering this broken, messed up, dying world for the very purpose of saving it.
But such rejection doesn’t just happen outside of churches: such rejection of Jesus can find commonplace inside of churches, too.
We avoid entertaining new, better ways of structuring ourselves to get more of the gospel to more people more often – because someone might demand, “We must keep do things the way we’ve always done them!”
We avoid speaking the truth in love, because we’re afraid that brother or sister who sinned against us won’t like what we have to say.
We’ll hide our excitement for engaging our community with the good news of Jesus – because someone might shoot it down, saying “Oh, we’ve tried that once before.”
We’re afraid to be “all things to all people” because someone in the congregation might not like the changes such mission work demands of us.
Rejected for Your Acceptance
Be it inside or outside the church, when we’re faced with rejection for being a follower of Jesus, we’re tempted to run away.
And Jesus knows exactly how you feel.
And yet, for your sake, Jesus didn’t run away from the pain of rejection: he ran headlong into it.
Even before the eternal Son of God was born in Bethlehem, he knew his earthly mission would intimately entail rejection.
He’d preach the gospel to those who wouldn’t want to listen.
He’d be cast out by those who personally saw him grow up in Nazareth.
He’d be betrayed by a man he lovingly called to be his disciple.
He’d be sentenced to death by men who diligently studied the very Scriptures that painted the very portrait of Jesus.
Yet, such rejection is trivial compared to the agony of rejection Jesus endured as he hung on the cross. On the cross Jesus endured rejection by his Heavenly Father as he bore the sins of the entire world!
Why would he do that?
Why would he endure such painful rejection?
Because of his unrelenting, ever-pursuing love for you!
Your Savior endured the righteous rejection of a Holy God so all who cling to him in faith never will. Jesus would be rejected so you, clothed in his righteousness, would be accepted into God’s own family!
For Jesus, the hill of Calvary was the hill worth dying on – because you were worth dying for!
The sins that threatened to exclude you from the mansions of heaven have been objectively buried with Christ in his death. And three days later, your Savior rose from the grave – proving he has won for you complete and total forgiveness.
You stand accepted – not rejected – before God – not because of who you are, but because of who Jesus is for you.
I know. Rejection still hurts.
And yet, there’s a serene comfort and encouragement knowing that the Savior who tells us that the world will hate us on account of him lovingly and patiently endured the hatred of the world, too.
He loves us that much.
So, when you are faced with rejection for your faith in Jesus, don’t run away from it; instead, run to the God who ran headlong into the same rejection to redeem and rescue you.
Take heart. Jesus has overcome the world.